Friday, January 03, 2014

RICK DYER LEAVING LILY AND ELOPING WITH HANK!

By

Tent Video Bigfoot
 Bigfoot Dummy

So we start 2014 off with a BANG, a CLUNK and a FIZZLE. Rick Dyer has come out with his Bigfoot after promising everyone for over a year that he would except. Except, what he has come up with is no Hank. In fact what Rick has shown us more closely resemble an old pair of slippers I once owned than what has been presented to us in either the “Tent video” or the documentary “Shooting Bigfoot”. I personally am pretty sure he picked up the wrong Bigfoot at the dry cleaners in Ritzville Wa. only a few days back. 

For a con man, he is a pretty lousy one, but lucky for Rick, his own stupidity will take him farther than anyone could have imagined. Robert Lindsay of “Beyond Highbrow” is high fiving the sky right now and doing cartwheels as we speak. Everyone at Team Tracker is also patting themselves on the back and claiming victory, seemingly forgetting every major point that they vehemently backed in Rick’s story for over a year. Chris Noel…well let’s just say he’s as much of a dingbat as ever, saying I told you so to the self proclaimed haters on the news’s website that broke the story.

To prove to everyone that he is not lying this time, Rick is going to swing by an MD he says to confirm to us all that this is a real Bigfoot, so no worry followers if you are the slightest bit skeptical. I just hope the waiting room is not too crowded and the doctor has a very large…. anal thermometer. If you can forget how stupid that is (a medical doctor???) you could not have forgotten that the reason it took over a year and a half was because the scientist were busy at work doing due diligence getting DNA, preserving the body and writing journals on this once in a century discovery. So why would you need to stop by some local doctor’s office and have them confirm this? Because Rick is a stupid man. A very stupid man. So stupid that he makes both Robert Lindsay and Christopher Noel look brilliant by comparison. I have a very hard time understanding how these people who believe Rick do it. I mean they all couldn’t have been kicked in the head by a horse when they were young, could they?


The other thing he has done that is quite ridiculous is take a tuft of the Bigfoot’s fur and light it on fire in one of the release videos. Not only extremely juvenile, but also one would assume sacrilege and a good way to get ones insurance policy revoked. I mean you would have to insure a multi-million dollar discovery of a lifetime wouldn’t you? Nah. Rick is living by the seat of his pants and may, as he is prone to do in fits of rage, light the whole thing on fire and piss on it in his driveway, like he did last year with his Best Bigfoot Tracker in the World trophy, given to him by Facebook Find Bigfoot and a book written by Dr. Jefferey Meldrum, a real researcher. And why not you ask? It wouldn’t be his fault, but the fault of his detractors.

So as Rick and Hank ride off into the sunset on his nickel tour to school the world who doubted him, we should at least take away the fact that no real Bigfoots were harmed in the making of this saga. It’s been a long road Rick, but at least you have an 8 foot 8 inch blanket to wrap around you on those lonely nights when the haters inside your head won’t shut up. You can take advantage of the carpool lanes with Hank riding shotgun and tell each other how great the other is as you listen to a looped version of the Greatest Bigfoot Tracker of the World. At least you have each other and that’s all that really matters.

Ready set…Bigfoot!


By: The Discerning Man's Squatch
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6 comments:

  1. Great post!! Hank resembles "old pair of slippers" lmao!

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  2. Hahaha. Great write up! On point

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  3. r.dyer is looney toones

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  4. Exactly and>>>
    Don't forget, Dyer said he took pics at scene in San Antonio when he shot and killed Hank. No pics folks!!

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  5. Insane that Chris Noel is buying this. I really respected his Impossible Visits book/work. But now? I really don't know what to think of Noel's support in this matter. Is he just another hoaxer as well?

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